User blog:Gamefreak776/How to Stop Stalkergitis
Introduction "OMG! Did you see??? He bumped into me! I am never cleaning this shirt ever again!" Is there someone in your life that you feeling magnetized to? Do you go into the shower drains and steal his or her fallen hair? Do you take pictures of him/her and post it on the collage of aforementioned pictures on your wall? Do you have a shrine in your room devoted to this person and believe he is your king, your leader, your master... your GOD? Then you, my friend, have Stalkergitis! (A portmanteu of the world Stalker, a person who follows someone around, and gitis, meaning sickess.} Yes, you should be worried. "Why won't you love meeee!?!?!?!?!" Being a stalker isn't all fun and games. Sometimes you lose your target. Sometimes he/she gets into a relationship and you have to "kill off" the other person. And in some cases, he puts a restraining on you, in which you must turn homicidal and shout out loud, "IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU, NO ONE WILL!!!!" All work and no play leaves a being MAD and suicidal. Person 1: -Runs to the boy's bathroom- "HAR!" Person 2: "DAMMIT!" -Decides to go in anyway.-'' Well guess what? Being a target for a stalker isn't all fun too. You have to go incognito; move to another state, in which they will still get to you; threaten them, which will make them more suicidal, homicdal, happy; and sometimes you are left with no choice but to commit suicide aswell. Well, if you are suicidal, don't do it. They'll probably dig up your grave and turn necrophiliac in an attempt to repopulate with your genes. Just kill the stalker. Yes, it will be humiliating. ''*shoots gun* Stalker: "Aaron, thank you for shooting me. I always wanted to die by your hands... Before I go, will you cradle me in your arms and kiss me like in the movies?" *shoots self* As much as you fantasize a romatic sunset with this person, they will do everything in their power to prevent that! So, how do you seduce your prey into your thrall? EASY! THE GOOD SAMARITAN LAW! That's right! There is a law for this! This law used to be mainly for CPR victims, but now it can work in collaboration with stalkergitis! The only way to cure stalkergitis is to feed it what it wants! Under this law, a person must show virtue and integrity by being polite and helpful to a person (previously, this law makes it so that you, or someone nearby, MUST save a dying victim by performing CPR or get sued for not helping.). As said, above, this law will work in collaboration with this! This law opens up a whole new window of possibility! "Hey will you date me? The good Samaritan Law demands it. Are you a samaritan, or nawt?" "UGH, fine, as long as I am a goodboy and helpful." SEE?? WAS that simple or not? TRY EET!!!! Category:Blog posts